shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
