garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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