I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
