Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Im part way to drunk.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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