The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
