420 ftw
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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