Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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