I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Randomize