He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
