The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Please don't give away my fajitas
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
