I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
We got so high we made milksteak
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
