My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
