sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
