I'm gonna have a badass scar
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Drake has all the answers
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
