Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
