i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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