So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
