I wanna bring you to show and tell
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
