You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
