I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I'm really into asian looking animals
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
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