i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
