Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize