my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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