Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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