I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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