I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
