Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
