She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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