I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
my liver is dry heaving
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
