He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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