Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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