Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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