Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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