dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
