are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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