Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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