I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
