halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
