u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
