Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize