Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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