sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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