She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i want to swaddle you in tequila
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
