Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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