I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize