Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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