just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
