He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
