Non-Jews are for practice
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
