Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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