I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
