let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
