Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
