You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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