Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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