new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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