So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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