Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
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