The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
