I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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