Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
