No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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