all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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