Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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